Of Ceremonies, AND RESPECTS

HE THAT is only real, had need have exceed-

ing great parts of virtue; as the stone had

need to be rich, that is set without foil.  But if a

man mark it well,  it is, in praise and commenda-

tion of men, as it is in gettings and gains: for the

proverb is true, That light gains make heavy

purses; for light gains come thick, whereas great,

come but now and then.  So it is true, that small

matters win great commendation, because they

are continually in use and in note: whereas the

occasion of any great virtue, cometh but on festi-

vals.  Therefore it doth much add to a man's reputa-

tion, and is (as Queen Isabella said) like perpetual

letters commendatory, to have good forms.  To at-

tain them, it almost sufficeth not to despise them;

for so shall a man observe them in others; and let

him trust himself with the rest.  For if he labor too

much to express them, he shall lose their grace;

which is to be natural and unaffected.  Some men's

behavior is like a verse, wherein every syllable is

measured; how can a man comprehend great mat-

ters, that breaketh his mind too much, to small

observations? Not to use ceremonies at all, is to

teach others not to use them again; and so dimin-

isheth respect to himself; especially they be not to

be omitted, to strangers and formal natures; but

the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above

the moon, is not only tedious, but doth diminish

the faith and credit of him that speaks.  And cer-

tainly, there is a kind of conveying, of effectual

and imprinting passages amongst compliments,

which is of singular use, if a man can hit upon it.

Amongst a man's peers, a man shall be sure of

familiarity; and therefore it is good, a little to keep

state.  Amongst a man's inferiors one shall be sure

of reverence; and therefore it is good, a little to be

familiar.  He that is too much in anything, so that

he giveth another occasion of satiety, maketh him-

self cheap.  To apply one's self to others, is good; so

it be with demonstration, that a man doth it upon

regard, and not upon facility.  It is a good precept

generally, in seconding another, yet to add some-

what of one's own: as if you will grant his opinion,

let it be with some distinction; if you will follow

his motion, let it be with condition; if you allow

his counsel, let it be with alleging further reason.

Men had need beware, how they be too perfect in

compliments; for be they never so sufficient other-

wise, their enviers will be sure to give them that

attribute, to the disadvantage of their greater vir-

tues.  It is loss also in business, to be too full of re-

spects, or to be curious, in observing times and

opportunities.  Solomon saith, He that considereth

the wind, shall not sow, and he that looketh to

the clouds, shall not reap.  A wise man will make

more opportunities, than he finds.  Men's behavior

should be, like their apparel, not too strait or point

device, but free for exercise or motion.